We know women experience loads of pressure to become mums, but there is less research into the stigma experienced by childfree men.
This probably doesn't come as a surprise.
Both in our own experience and the research that does exist, pressures for women are clearly more present in many situations.
For example, a study into the stigma and societal pressures for voluntary childless men and women found women are seen by society as "spinsters", while men were "living the dream".
But there are some different burdens for men.
Carrying on the family name
The idea of "leaving behind a legacy" came up a lot in the experiences men shared with us.
Vince, 49, has never had a longing for his own children, and his wife is the same.
"To be honest, from what I have seen — of course not experienced — I see the act of child rearing as a tedious, difficult and boring one," he says.
Vince has been asked if he worries about not carrying on the family name.
"I don't care about passing on my genes and continuing the family lineage … and personally find that whole ideal one filled with arrogance and hubris.
"When I'm dead, I'm dead. I don't have an outlook on life where I will be up in heaven watching down on my family."
Luke, who asked us not to use his real name, is 46 and says while his mum has been unfazed by his childfree decision (he has three sisters with seven kids between them), his dad has passed remark.
"My dad said something once about how I'm not carrying on the family name."
You're not 'manly' if you don't become a father
Toxic masculinity is alive and well in the childfree debate, too.
"Apparently there is something macho about getting a woman pregnant. I didn't get that memo," says Matt Cohrs, 53.
"I have been badgered from every angle [but] what stands out is the idea that getting a woman pregnant is the ultimate sign of manhood, never mind about sticking around to take responsibility. That's 'optional'."
Matt, who has been married to his wife for 11 years, has also been questioned about his sexuality due to his childfree status.
"Men who choose a different path are 'strange' and are most likely gay. Having a child is one way of proving to everyone that you are not — yes, someone actually told me that."
So why don't men want kids?
Time for travel with their partners, the environment and passing on health issues are common reasons men choose to be childless.
Aside from having kids just not seeming very appealing, freedom, the environment and mental health were other themes male readers shared with us.
"I enjoy my freedom and actually relish in it. I have a wonderful life and an amazing, beautiful and fiercely intelligent wife. This, for me, is a life of plenty," says Vince.
They have travel plans and hope to spend time living overseas.
Matt says he believes overpopulation to be one of mankind's biggest problems.
"I do not understand why we have nearly 8 billion people fighting over resources and living space. It's like we are part of an experiment to see how many goldfish you can put in a fishbowl before they all die off from disease, cannibalism and starvation," he says.
Luke has some of the same concerns after studying conservation at university.
"I considered how my resource use is vastly greater than my parents, since they didn't have as much disposable stuff as I did; and that this problem is far greater in children born today," he says.
"If I were to have children, it would amplify my resource use since I am responsible for whatever they use as well as my own use."
Through his studies, Luke also learnt about hereditary illness, something he has struggled with and doesn't want to pass on to a child.
"My initial reasons for not wanting to have kids related to addiction being prevalent in my family," he says.
"We also have anxiety and depression, bipolar and other disorders rife among family members.
"I thought about how [even] if the illnesses themselves were not hereditary, my parenting would definitely be impacted.
"My father was neurotic, and I have phobias as a result of his inability to deal with the responsibility of parenthood."
When Luke recovered from his own encounter with drug addiction and mental illness, he became a high school teacher.
"It's not all doom and gloom," he says.
"I still get to be around kids through my job, and they go home at the end of the day to be someone else's problem."
Comments