Your social circle doesn't need to shrink as you get older.
As a young adult, it often feels like you don't even have to think about how to make friends. You've got school classes full of peers, a seemingly never-ending social calendar, and you never find it difficult to strike up a conversation with a stranger in a bar.
Fast forward a few decades, however, and things aren't quite so simple. "It's more of a challenge to make friends as an adult because this group of people is often in the prime of their lives building their career and families," says life coach Dr. Jaime Kulaga, PhD, LMCH. "Adults work around children's schools and sports schedules, plus have their own work schedules, and some adults take on caregiver roles for their parents. Managing the day-to-day family unit is tough enough, let alone trying to find time to squeeze in a social life."
Evidently, making (and keeping) friends as an adult has also gotten harder.
Fortunately, just because you're witnessing your social circle getting smaller doesn't mean that friendlessness is in your future. This is how to make friends as an adult.
1 Lead with a smile.
One of the easiest ways to make yourself more approachable is by putting a smile on your face. As UCLA neuroscientist Marco Iacoboni revealed in an interview with Scientific American, smiling at someone else can activate brain activity in the other person, prompting a similar smiley response. So, when you're trying to make new friends, make an effort to keep a pleasant expression on your face—it might just make you more appealing.
2 Join a trivia team.
Need an easy way to make friends as an adult? Try joining a trivia team at your favorite bar. "Joining a local trivia team is a great idea because often these groups are made up of people who are laughing and having fun. Adding humor to your life is good for your soul!" says Kulaga.
Additionally, the life coach notes that "trivia teams are often scheduled in advance and on a specific day of the week. This helps you to better plan when socials are on a consistent day."
3 Reach out to friends you've lost touch with.
On top of trying to build new friendships from scratch, do your best to reconnect with members of your social circle with whom you've fallen out of touch. With people you were once close with, you can more or less pick up where you left off.
4 Join local groups on social media. According to a 2019 report from the Pew Research Center, 69 percent of American adults between the ages of 50 and 64 reported being on social media in February 2019, up from just 4 percent in March 2005. And with so many people turning to social media, it's easier to make friends as an adult with just the click of a button.
One of the easiest ways to do so is by joining local Facebook groups.
You'll not only get to know people in your immediate area, but you'll also get a good idea of what kind of fun stuff is happening right in your backyard.
5 Separate yourself from society's stigmas.
One of the biggest reasons why people have a hard time making friends after 50 is because of the stigma attached to putting yourself out there after a certain age. However, instead of indulging those thoughts telling you that trying to meet new people makes you seem lonely or sad, remind yourself that millions, if not billions of people are looking for the same thing—and, in many cases, would be happy to find someone like you to spend time with.
6 Strike up a conversation in a fitness class.
Whether your preference is cycling, cardio hip-hop dance, or yoga, fitness classes are a great way to meet new people. At the end of class, don't be afraid to strike up a conversation with a fellow participant—you already know that you have at least one interest in common, after all.
7 Try a new workout class.
Need a reboot on your social life? Try hitting up a new workout class. Programs like SoulCycle and CrossFit are designed to foster a sense of community, so rest assured that you'll leave class with more defined muscles and new friends.
8 Join a book club.I f you're a bibliophile, joining a book club is a simple way to find your people. Book clubs not only give you a chance to socialize, but also give you an opportunity to flex the most important muscle in your body: your brain. Research by Rush University Medical Center even suggests that mental stimulation like reading can reduce anxiety and lower your risk of developing dementia later in life, so don't wait to immerse yourself in a new paperback.
9 Buddy up to your kids' friends' parents.
If you have children, know that they're an invaluable resource when it comes to socializing. Playdates, school functions, and trips to the park provide the perfect opportunity to make new friends; while your child is kept busy with his or her own friends, you can socialize with all your fellow moms and dads.
10 Join the P&C. Another way you can take advantage of having kids in your quest for more friends? By joining your local P&C. This school organization is full of moms and dads just like you with whom you can bond over raising children, balancing work and family, and just the woes of getting older.
11 Join your local community garden.
If you're a gardening geek looking to make new friends, then join a local community garden; there you'll meet tons of other locals who share your passion for botany and beautifying the Earth. Research by the University of Tokyo even suggests that gardening can improve both mental and physical health, so becoming a member of the community garden could be the key to making new friends and living a long and healthy life.
12 Make friends with people who you see in non-social contexts.
Think you can't befriend your hairdresser or hang out with your kid's teachers? Think again! There's no good reason why you can't ask people who you know from their places of work to hang out socially. Considering how much your manicurist or personal trainer probably already knows about you, you've got a great place to start from.
13 Hang out with people who might not otherwise spark your interest.
In your teens and 20s, you might find yourself only hanging out with people you find fascinating and brilliant. However, as you get older and friends become fewer and further between, it's wise to amend your standards slightly. While it's never a great idea to spend time with people who have a negative effect on your life, making connections with people you might not normally socialize with can help you broaden your social circle in no time.
14 Say hi to strangers. Want a quick and easy way to make friends in your 50s? Start by saying hi to people when you pass them on the street. Once you've gotten comfortable making those initial introductions, you'll have an easier time talking to people you're eager to socialize with.
15 Attend a protest.
Political activism is a great way to meet people with similar interests in your area. There's a serious sense of camaraderie at protests and political gatherings, and odds are that if someone's attending the same protest as you, there won't ever be insurmountable differences in political beliefs to tear your friendship apart.
16 Attend your local city council meetings. Getting politically active on a local level is an easy way to meet people who share your values. Attending local city council meetings will help you get in touch with a community of people who care about the same issues as you—and maybe even those willing to tackle a project you're passionate about with you.
17 Reach out to friends of friends. Your existing friends are a great resource when it comes to making new ones. If you're looking for some new people to hang out with, don't be shy about asking your friends to set you up on friend dates with people you've previously met through them and hit it off with.
18 RSVP "yes." "While I would not encourage you to RSVP to every event in town, going to events is a great way to socialize and meet new people," says Kulaga. However, there are a few guidelines to keep in mind. "Be sure to look into the event beforehand to make sure it is of interest to you to begin with. You will not be your best self, and thus attract the right people, if you attend an event you despise, don't believe in, or couldn't care less about."
19 Get to know your significant other's coworkers.
If you have a significant other, make an effort to get to know their coworkers in addition to your own. Not only will befriending people your spouse knows professionally expand your social circle, but it might even prove to be a potential boon to their career as well. Win-win!
20 Make friends with your coworkers. You likely already have a built-in social network, even if you don't realize it: your coworkers. Suggest a weekly happy hour, propose catching a new movie after work, or propose a group fitness activity that you can all enjoy together; no matter what you do, you're bound to find a few friends among your many colleagues.
21 Volunteer. Volunteering is good for more than just your conscience. It's also a terrific way to meet new friends. "Volunteering is a great way to give back and to socialize," says Kulaga. "When you volunteer, you are around people with a similar mission and value system in mind about giving to the community. This puts you around like-minded people, which is always a great foundation to a friendship." Help out at a local food pantry, mentor a child with an organization like Big Brothers, Big Sisters, or join a local park cleanup; no matter where you volunteer your services, you're bound to run into people with a similar charitable mindset.
22 Get a pet.
Getting a pet does more than just give you a furry companion to keep close at night. It's also a great way to expand your human social circle. In fact, according to a 2015 study conducted by researchers at the University of Western Australia, strangers are more likely to introduce themselves to someone with a pet than someone without. And this camaraderie isn't dog-specific—the people in the study eagerly introduced themselves to turtle and rabbit owners, too.
23 Join a local sports team. Kill two birds with one stone and get in some exercise while you make new friends by joining a local sports team. Doing this will give you something to bond with new people over (and those weekly post-game drinks certainly won't hurt either).
24 Hit up a bar solo.
If you want to meet new people, try heading to your local watering hole solo. While you may have to endure some cheesy pick-up lines or semi-awkward chatter, you'll likely meet some other solo fliers—and at the very worst, you'll get a drink or two.
25 Continue your education. Making friends while studying is easy—no matter how old you are. Even if you've been out of school for decades, signing up for a night class or an online course will give you a built-in social circle of people to work on projects with, bounce ideas off of, and commiserate with after class.
26 Travel alone. Exploring the world alone may be daunting at first, but it's actually a pretty incredible way to learn about new cultures and meet new people in one fell swoop. "When you go on a vacation with the goal to meet new people, you will be more apt to put yourself out there and connect with people. The people you meet may not live in your hometown, but with social media you can stay connected more than ever to continue the relationship building. From there, you can plan meetups a couple times a year, and do a vacation with them at some point," says Kulaga.
27 Sign up for a group. Find a local group—of which there are thousands on Facebook and sites like Meetup—and you'll instantly have a new group of people who share your interests to spend time with.
28 Show up at local events. Your local community is a great resource for making new friends. Show up to enough regional fairs, concerts, and other gatherings and you're bound to see some of the same faces, which makes it easier to connect.
29 Ask to tag along.
There's no shame in asking for an invite. When you hear a coworker or acquaintance say that they're doing something you might be interested in over the weekend, ask to join in; just because someone hasn't explicitly invited you to join doesn't mean they'd necessarily mind the company!
30 Pay a stranger a compliment.
The quickest way to make a new friend? By paying a stranger a compliment. One study published in the PLOS One journal suggests that compliments make people as happy as getting a handful of cash, so don't be afraid to tell someone they look nice.
31 Host a garage sale.
Eager to empty the closet and and make some new friends at the same time? Then host a group garage sale with some of your friends and neighbors! Not only will you end up with extra money but you'll also have an excuse to socialize with a whole new crew.
32 Canvass for a politician.
Change hearts, minds, and the size of your social circle with one easy action: canvassing for a politician. You'll meet like-minded people, get the word out about a cause that's important to you, and might even do some good in this world.
33 Say yes to friends when they invite you out. For shy people, saying no to a casual invitation is often a reflexive response. However, rejecting invitations is hardly the way to make new friends. So, when your friends, coworkers, acquaintances, or family members suggest that you get together on a whim, make it a habit of saying yes as much as possible; the more you go out, the more chances you have to meet new people, creating a positive cycle of social opportunities.
34 Join a supper club.
If you love to cook but are sick of cracking open your copy of Microwave Cooking for One, try joining a supper club. These social clubs give you an opportunity to share a meal with fellow gourmets/potential new friends, as well as a chance to practice recipes you've been dying to try out.
35 Get to know prominent local figures.
If there's someone in your community or circle of friends who seems to know everyone or be at every event, then make an effort to get to know them personally. While super-connected people may seem intimidating at first, remind yourself that they didn't get that huge circle of friends from being standoffish.
36 Start a side hustle.
If your current coworkers aren't the kind of people you can see yourself socializing with outside of work, try adopting a side hustle. Sell your crafts at local fairs, help out at a farmers' market, or offer music lessons to locals; not only will you pad your wallet, but you'll also get an entirely new group of people to hang out with in the process.
37 Take up running.
As they say, misery loves company, which might just explain why you see so many runners hitting the pavement in pairs. And if you're someone who enjoys torturing themselves in the form of running, then your social life might just benefit from running with a partner, too. Jogging with a partner not only gives you and your jogging partner a chance to get to know each other, but it also ensures that you're never alone (and unsafe) during your outdoor workout.
38 Join a dating site for friends. Meeting people online isn't all about finding someone to get romantically involved with anymore. In fact, apps like Bumble BFF, Peanut, and Me3 are all geared toward fostering non-romantic connections, so go ahead and download those if you're ready to make some new friends
.
39 Get out of the house.
Face it: You're not going to meet your new BFF sitting in your living room. When you want to make friends, you have to get physically out of your comfort zone—in other words, off the couch. The very act of leaving your house gives you an opportunity to branch out and discover the world behind your four walls.
40 Invite your neighbors over.
The nice thing about having neighbors is that it gives you someone to talk to and hang out with pretty much 24/7. And if you haven't gotten to know your neighbors yet, there's no time like the present. So host a barbecue, throw a pool party, or just invite the neighbors over for drinks—your new best friend could very well be right next door.
41 Strike up a conversation at the coffee shop.
While you're waiting at the coffee shop counter for your latté, don't be shy about striking up a conversation with the people around you. After all, those folks can't leave until their drinks are ready, so they might as well pass the time by having a pleasant conversation with a stranger!
42 Start selling online.
If you have a passion and some time on your hands, then you can make money and friends at the same time by becoming part of the online reselling community. On Instagram, there is a huge community of sellers who use platforms like Poshmark, eBay, and Mercari, all of whom love to chat about their process (and really, anything else you can think of).
43 Go on a guided tour at the museum.
Most museums offer guided tours through which you can both learn about art and culture and meet new people. If you take a guided tour that's focused on a type of art or architecture you enjoy, then you'll know that anyone you meet during the tour will have at least one shared interest with you.
44 Or hit up a brewery tour.
Does your passion lie in craft beer? In that case, you should be looking for new friends on brewery tours offered at local establishments. Even if you don't hit it off with anyone, you'll at least get some delicious ales out of the experience!
45 Befriend your significant other's friends.
If your significant other has a treasure trove of friends, then there's no reason why you shouldn't take advantage of that. Plus, seeing as you and your partner likely have a lot in common, you're likely to hit it off with anyone who gets along well with your S.O.
46 Start a blog.
People are always looking for bloggers online who they can relate to. Starting a blog will not only give you an outlet to talk about your interests and life experiences, but will also allow you to chat with readers who can relate to what you're writing about.
47 Take a class.Why not learn a new skill while you work on making new friends? Taking an artistic, hands-on class like pottery is a great way to both keep your mind active as you age and force yourself into a collaborative and social environment.
48 Play chess with strangers.
Plenty of outdoor spaces have chess tables available that anyone is free to use. Even if you aren't particularly good at chess, partaking in a game or two with a stranger will allow you the opportunity to strike up a pleasant conversation while you play (and perhaps even sharpen your skills in the process).
49 Read a book at the park.
When the weather allows for it, spend the day at the park by yourself reading a book. Odds are that someone will see what you're reading, comment on how great (or not so great) it is, and voila: a conversation!
50 Be consistent. Like any relationship, friendships take work to maintain. If you want to both make and keep new friends, it's essential that you do your best to make a conscious effort. Schedule regular game nights, invite people over for drinks once a week, or just check in via text with some frequency; the more you nurture your new relationships, the more they'll flourish.
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