We’re living in a moment that will be recognised in history as one in which women started to finally being listened to.
So in this spirit of openness and equality, columnist, author and feminist champion Caitlin Moran recently offered the men of Twitter the chance to share the “downsides” they experience courtesy of their gender. The answers ranged from minor quibbles like ear hair and not having an equivalent to sexy nightwear, to the pain that comes with repressing emotions.
By far the most common theme among the more than 6800 responses centred around men’s struggles to remain within the confines of the masculine ideal.
The Ash Menon@ashvinmenonReplying to @caitlinmoran We have very few avenues to emotionally express ourselves. We're supposed to fit this stereotype of being tough and only wanting touch if it comes with sex. I want a hug and head pats, dammit. 2627:23 PM - Oct 19, 2018Twitter
Andrew Glover@thequestingvoleReplying to @caitlinmoran when my wife leaves the room she blows out the expensive candles as they're 'wasted' on me on my own... 2,4079:46 PM - Oct 18, 2018Twitter
amie McHale@Jamie_McHaleReplying to @caitlinmoran no one will ever buy me flowers. I like flowers. 5819:51 PM - Oct 18, 2018Twitter
Realise that this is extremely minor but I am sick of being shamed for enjoying fancy bubble baths or having a Lush loyalty card https://t.co/V1VRAUnndI — hussein kesvani (@HKesvani) October 18, 2018
pigs feet@pigs_feetReplying to @caitlinmoran The pictures on the front of Men's Health Magazine. I never grew up with or saw any men who looked like this. I know women have always been bombarded with unrealistic womanhood from the glossies/TV, but now men are getting the same treatment. I sympathise. Anyway off to the gym. 65610:25 PM - Oct 18, 2018Twitter
Brogan Holmes-Briggs@BroganBriggsReplying to @caitlinmoran @HSugarCookie Making the first move all the time kinda sucks. You gotta be the one to ask, the one to message first, the one to put your heart out there (not a universal rule but 90% of the time it feels that way). Wanna give a big thanks to all the women who take the first step, really helps 14111:17 AM - Oct 19, 2018Twitter
Some of the problems were physical
Alex Crook@awjcrookReplying to @caitlinmoran Never getting to be pregnant. Although I'm not desperate about the actual giving birth bit I think (parts of) having another human being grow inside you must be pretty amazing. 46410:43 PM - Oct 18, 2018Twitter
Curtis Stigers✔@curtisstigersReplying to @caitlinmoran Ear hair. Everything else is nifty. Thanks for asking. 643:25 PM - Oct 19, 2018Twitter Ads
Some of the problems were both physical and emotional
Mike Searle@MikeSearle493Replying to @caitlinmoran The two biggest ones: - I genuinely struggle to open up emotionally to anyone other than my girlfriend. She pretty much carries me sometimes. I feel society is changing on this one though. - In the summer my balls get stuck to my leg and it is so uncomfortable. 595:48 PM - Oct 19, 2018Twitter
Many felt uncomfortable that they make women feel uncomfortable.
Joshua Fowler@joshuaffowlerReplying to @caitlinmoran Trying to walk in a quiet street behind a woman whilst overthinking how you can reassure her you're not an attacker and simply just trying to get home, too - but only communicate that through your footsteps. 2,96710:11 PM - Oct 18, 2018Twitter
Marion B @mazsingsukReplying to @caitlinmoran I’m a woman but something I’ve noticed my husband and his friends struggle with is people being suspicious if they are friendly to kids, especially if they don’t have their own kids with them. Making sure they avert their eyes when walking past a playground, that sort of thing... 2,75210:02 PM - Oct 18, 2018Twitter
But another running theme was isolation. Not having anyone to talk to, the expectation that they swallow their feelings, drink a cup of concrete and harden up.
Matt Haig✔@matthaig1Replying to @caitlinmoran One of the downsides is that we are crap at talking about, well, the downsides. 4,48610:05 PM - Oct 18, 2018Twitter
And I thought this was just me…
Burkhart@BigJBurkhartReplying to @BigJBurkhart @caitlinmoran We simply don't have anyone to talk to. Going to a psychiatrist is expensive and looked down on socially, friends don't take you seriously unless there's something REALLY wrong, and it's hard to trust people with sensitive subjects. It's probably why many people drink. 44812:17 PM - Oct 19, 2018Twitter
Paul Almond@pjalmondReplying to @caitlinmoran I literally only began learning in the last 2-3 years how to share my emotions with my wife; and how to hear her problems without feeling pressure to try and 'solve' them away. I never knew that just saying it and hearing it was good enough. This might be an overshare, sorry. 89810:28 PM - Oct 18, 2018Twitter
Mark Stradling@oldmansteptoeReplying to @caitlinmoran When women get beaten up by life, their friends gang up to support them. Men don’t. Sometimes all you need is a hug. 3,1179:45 PM - Oct 18, 2018Twitter
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