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‘Unicorns’: Meet the women who attend sex parties alone

According to fairy tales, unicorns are mythical creatures that everybody has heard of, but nobody has seen.


In the swinging scene, unicorns are solo females who go to sex parties and swingers’ clubs on their own. They arrive alone, they leave alone and just like their mythical counterparts, their scarcity makes them highly sought after.


Unicorns admit that even people in the swinging community are surprised when a single female arrives by herself at a sex party.


Lucy* is a mid-30s professional, who was married for 10 years.

“I always wanted to explore things like swinging and pegging when I was married, but my husband wasn’t keen. When I got divorced, I met a guy on a dating site who was into the swinging community. He took me to a party and straight away I realised, these are my people, this is what I had been looking for, it was fantastic, I was hooked.”




Lucy admits that her first sex party started just like any other party.

“There were about 12 couples in a serviced apartment, there was Jatz and cheese and dips. People were standing around making small talk and having drinks, then after about half an hour, a couple of the girls yelled out ‘let’s get started’. So a few couples moved to a bedroom and started getting it on with each other, then some more people joined in. By the end of the night, everyone was naked and having sex with each other”


Since then Lucy has been a proud unicorn, going to sex clubs by herself or being the third wheel in threesomes. “It’s just more exciting by yourself, you don’t have to worry about what your partner’s doing if they’re happy or being taken care of. It’s great to be able to pick and choose who I play with and who plays with me. Being a unicorn I always make sure I play with the hottest couple”.


“A lot of people comment that it must be really empowering walking into a room where everybody wants you, buts its actually the other way around, I do it because I am empowered. It’s something that I enjoy doing and I have enough confidence and I’m comfortable enough to be able to put myself out there” Lucy added.




Louise* also considers herself a unicorn even though she is still married. “About ten years ago, I found myself alone as a single mum with two young children as my partner travelled overseas for work nine months of the year. My sex life was restricted to watching porn and using a vibrator when the children slept. I didn’t want to get into the complexities of having an affair, but I missed the adult company. My partner suggested I go to a sex club as we both agreed it was safer emotionally and physically.”


It’s not just guys that Louise is attracted to when she goes out alone “I am polysexual, so I am attracted to people rather than a specific sex. If I am playing with a couple, it doesn’t matter how nice he is, I have to connect with her as well. If I’m playing with a single guy, then he can’t take himself too seriously, make me laugh and make me feel like I’m the only woman in the room, and you’re halfway there. Sometimes for fun, I will see a couple playing together and if I catch her eye and I can see she is interested, I will just walk up and start kissing her. His reaction is usually jaw-dropping, especially if they are new to the scene.”


Even though Louise loves being a unicorn, she doesn’t always fly solo. “I have more interaction as a solo. As soon as couples and other singles notice I’m solo they come and say hi, but I don’t feel any pressure from the people I meet as I’m 100% in control. I also meet some awesome people and make great friends. Occasionally my husband will come along if I ask him. He loves the cuckold experience, so he is more likely to say yes if the event is not for couples only.”



Louise admits that going to sex parties alone could be dangerous. “I am very cautious. I arrive early and leave early. I don’t drink and I avoid people who drink excessively. I choose open playrooms unless I am with people I know. If someone is bothering me, I tell the staff. On the odd occasion, I’ve asked the staff to walk me to my car. The challenge for unicorns is a man being intoxicated and not understanding the word ‘no,’ and I find that it’ most likely to happen after midnight, which is why I leave early.”



So would Louise ever go back to a vanilla relationship? “Yes, absolutely, I enjoy the community and I love being a unicorn with the full support of my partner. Without that support and encouragement, the magic wouldn’t exist and would likely be replaced by jealousy and there would be nothing sexy about that.”


“The swinging community has taught me many things; Firstly confidence — the perfect body doesn’t exist outside of magazines, so except mine, as it is, take it or leave it. Unicorns are unique within the community and I’ve enjoyed the confidence that has brought me. Secondly, never to expect others to know what I want or what I am into. I tell them what I want, how to do it and what I don’t want. I find they really appreciate this inside track and that way I avoid bad sex. Here’s an example — my breasts are very sensitive. Treat them with care and I will get really turned on, start squeezing, prodding or chewing and I am going to want to flatten you and not have sex with you.”


When Louise tells people she is a Unicorn, it usually comes with a lot of misconceptions and judgment, “People think we are sex maniacs or predatory female marriage wrecker. Sure, we like good sex, but we love the interaction and friends we make as well.”

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